"I close my eyes and I let my body shut itself down and I let my mind wander.
It wanders to a familiar place. A place I don't talk about or acknowledge exists.
A place where there is only me. A place that I hate. I am alone.
Alone here and alone in the world. Alone in my heart and alone in my mind.
Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember.
Alone with my family, alone with my friends, alone in a room full of people.
Alone when I wake, alone through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness.
I am alone in my horror. Alone in my horror. I don't want to be alone.
I have never wanted to be alone. I fucking hate it.
I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right.
I hate that I have no one to share my hopes and my dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again.
I hate that when I scream, and I scream bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness.
I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming."
Thank you for sharing that. I feel like I could've written this. Oh the future, I need it !
ReplyDeletei love disney movies too. i have a whole playlist on youtube of my favorite disney songs =D. i'll post some of that project sometime within the next week..i just don't know when lol.
ReplyDeletethat is so true. the vast majority of guys are nowhere near mature. and i agree, girls definitely mature faster than they do. XD
i really like the photo in this one. you always post such beautiful things.
<3
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